Comments for Undomestic Diva

Comment on Catching my breath by Nancy [Spinning my Plates]

Nancy [Spinning my Plates] — Thu, 17 May 2012 17:25:50 +0000

It’s okay to feel satisfied and downright joyous for your professional accomplishments. And the fact that your mom and kids miss and need you is an indicator of your awesomeness. That said, I understand how frustrating it is to feel the guilt for not being everywhere you’re wanted. My kids have come to learn (as have I) that the time we do have together is that much more special — it is distilled and moments are more precious. We rarely take things for granted, squeeze each other tighter, and milk each minute. Regardless of the time and resources, there will never be enough to do as much or be as much as we want to be, especially to those who love us most.

Comment on Catching my breath by jill (mrschaos)

jill (mrschaos) — Thu, 17 May 2012 16:53:00 +0000

There is not a “YES” loud enough for me to say. The sacrifice, the guilt…the failing at everything. All of it.

I keep hoping that I’m setting an example for my girls. That I’m showing them how to work hard for their family.

But scared that I’m showing them the opposite. The failing at everything part.

Comment on Catching my breath by EvelynH in NYC

EvelynH in NYC — Thu, 17 May 2012 13:36:53 +0000

Been there … sometimes having to work 2 jobs to keep the roof overhead and food on the table. What hindsight taught me – guilt is an energy-sucker, and you need as much energy as possible to do the working single-parent life. Work when you must, and save those vacation days so you can still get involved with your kids activities. Change is difficult, as you already know, but your kids are resilient. They might not like the change, but they will adjust, and you will still be their star.

Comment on Catching my breath by Al_Pal

Al_Pal — Thu, 17 May 2012 07:12:36 +0000

Oooof. Meep. *HUGS*

Comment on Catching my breath by EmmieJ

EmmieJ — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:56:26 +0000

Nail meet head. People who don’t understand my life often ask me, “How do you do it all?” I reply plainly, “I fail at everything I do.” And then they say nice things that they can’t possibly know to be true about what a great mother I am and what a valuable worker I am and I get more and more angry because they didn’t hear the sigh or see the eye roll from a coworker when I had to leave early or come late AGAIN because of YET ANOTHER commitment with my boys; and they’re not there when the boys ask me why I’m always at work or traveling far away from them for days on end; and they don’t know I gained weight because I chose sleep over exercise; or that I obsess constantly about the narrative developing in my kids’ minds about their childhood and my role in it. Catching my breath would be bliss. Amen.

Comment on Catching my breath by Lesley

Lesley — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:46:14 +0000

Jett said it. And? Your boys appreciate you and will continue to do so. They love the shit outta you, lady. YOU did that. You’re awesome. bjbj ;-)

Comment on Catching my breath by Tricia (irishsamom)

Tricia (irishsamom) — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:44:27 +0000

This completely spoke to me. And I can say, without doubt, that you described exactly what I’ve been experiencing since I “had” to go back to work after being a SAHM for 11 years (even though I had a home business and did fifty other things, it never felt enough), actually really liked being back at work (teaching, which I love). But, the burden of wanting to do both as well as I was used to doing one and thinking I was failing at it all sometimes – especially failing my kids because there wasn’t enough of me to go around. You could have written this about me. All I can say is,. that with time, it has gotten easier to find more balance, not easy, in any sense, but “easier” after almost two years. My kids have adjusted to my not being at school during the day, not always being able to do what I used to and being exhausted ALL THE TIME. And feeling like you do, just wanting some space to switch off from being everything to everyone all the time. It’s impossible. Women have to work at this guilt thing. It comes with the territory and it’s hard. Hang in there. Your kids have had the best of you. They still have the best of you that you are capable of giving. Your loyalties are split sometimes. But, they still come first and they know that. Now. you need to learn that it’s OK to put yourself first sometimes too. Or there will be nothing left. I learnt this the hard way. Hugs to you Megan and thank you for writing this.

Comment on Catching my breath by VDog

VDog — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:34:13 +0000

Oh honey. I hear you. Big hugs & soft whispers in your ear. XOXO

Comment on Catching my breath by Jett

Jett — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:33:01 +0000

I’ve long said that when you birth an eight-pound baby you birth fifty pounds worth of guilt alongside him and the guilt seems to grow commensurately with the child. I, too, can never DO enough, can never BE enough, and always ride myself super-hard emotionally and mentally. If I get one thing teetering perfect and in-balance, I feel like I’ve woefully neglected another thing and rush to keep it from crashing.

I want some magic poultice for all of us, because just reaching for your hand and and nodding and saying, “Megan, I completely understand.” does not feel anywhere NEAR enough. I get it. I really, really wish I could help you.

Comment on Who’s that girl? by Cassie

Cassie — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:47:43 +0000

Ditto.