Annual (odd) holiday shopping guide

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve had a bit-o-difficulty getting into the holiday spirit this year. But whether I’m ready for places like Target to look like Christmas threw-up all over their aisles, well, it doesn’t really matter because there it is – merry this or that, joy! peace to the motherfucking world! and other holiday obscenities all up in my scrunched up face.

Regardless of my bad, bah humbug attitude, some of you are already shopping or at least planning your shopping so I thought I’d post a couple of cool websites and gift ideas I’ve come across that might help you find the perfect something-something for someone(s) on your list.

Because let’s face it, even if they’re only $9, no one needs another chenille throw for their couch this year.

I was reading Real Simple magazine (which, come to find out, isn’t for simple minds like mine but for people who want to organize, simplify and find a bajillion rather bad ass solutions for every day life) when I came across Spoon Sisters. The gift ideas on this site are endless, people.

Just a few examples:

Arrrgh matties! It’s the Pirate Handbook! $18.95

*shakeshakeshake* It’s a Magic 8 Ball Pen! $7.00

Recipes for the Regularity Challenged? Yep. The Un-Constipated Gourmet Cookbook! $16.00

Fashionable knitting? Please! Vogue Knitting – Gloves and Mittens. $24.95

Robot Matryoshkas! (Also: Monsters, Chalkboard, Paint-your-own, etc.) $15.50

OUCH! *BAM* POW! Comic Strip Bandages! $6.25

and a ton of other cool stuff.

Then there’s one of my favorite websites I’ve shopped at for a long time: Uncommon Goods.

Bottoms up! It’s Beer Making Kits! $15.00 – $40.00

Just a liiittttlllee more… a litttlllleee more… The OCD Cutting Board! $25.00

A colorful way to pass the days. Pop the Dots Calendar! $13.00

Rock out in style! Crocheted Headphones! $38.00

Um, hey there! It’s Kim the Talking Clock! $39.50

On a more serious note, in all the list-making and catalog-perusing and store-shopping this time of year, it’s easy for my boys to start getting greedy with the “I want’s.” This is why every year we have them participate in a number of charities like Spark of Love and Toys for Tots – a way for them to remember that this is the season for giving – not receiving – and as a reminder that they are very lucky kids – even when they don’t think so.

So when you’re making your list and checking it twice and shopping online via computer mice, think about clicking on over to Feeding America where a $1 donation will feed eight hungry families in America. EIGHT. For one dollar. Can you imagine if eight of you donated just $1? And then eight of your readers or Twitter followers or Facebook friends did the same? And then theirs? Food for thought, literally.

Happy giving.

Your last minute shopping guide – UD Style

Yes, yes, I'm still alive and well (a relative term), just suffering from OHMYGAWDCHRISTMASISJUSTAWEEKAWAY syndrome, nevermind recovering from an awesome weekend at Bernie's in Vegas and then there's also the big Love for Anissa project.

Which, I must say, I am just BLOWN AWAY by the response. More than 120 photos were submitted (I'm still adding some stragglers) and trying to get them all compiled into the video slideshow set to heart-wrenching music from Glee. I can't wait to get it to her and to share it with all of you.

But if you're anything like me, you're also overwhelmed right now with copious amounts of To Do's, including last! minute! Christmas! shopping! So I've done you a solid and compiled a list the most GLORIOUS gift giving ideas you've ever seen.

(And you're welcome.)

From Urban Outfitters:

- Polaroid Notes $14.95

- Get the Hint Stickies: $6.00

Stickies 

- Astronaut Ice Cream $6.00

- Bacon Flavored Floss $6.00

- Road Rage Shticks $16.00:

Roadrage 
[As seen being used here.]
 
- The Where's Waldo Complete Collection $45.00

- If I'm Lost… Flask $18.00

- WTF Snowglobe $12.00:

Wtf_snowglobe 

- How to be Inappropriate (book) $14.95

- The Big Ass Book of Crafts $19.95

- How to Locate a Stud and Drill It (book) $12.95

 

From Think Geek:

- Horror Movie Shower Curtain and Bath Mat $14.99:

Horrorshower 

- Illuminated Jet Bib Feeding System $19.99 (lights up):

Jetbib

From Uncommon Goods:

- Nestling Bird Necklaces $70 – $79

- Baby Clothes Quilt Kit $28

- Ninja Umbrella $28

- His and Hers Key Holders $25:

Keyholders 

- Set of 6 Luggage Tags $10:

Luggagetags 

- Leaning Man Bookends $34

And you KNOW I couldn't resist adding one of my most prized possessions to the list:

- THE 'Fo Shizzle Welcome to our Hizzle Welcome Mat $19.95 from What On Earth

Happy shopping!

Steals & Deals – Edition 5

Every year on the 4th of July, I go with my mom to a local street fair where we peruse booth after booth of handmade creations – most of which are identical from the year before. But every once in a while, we across something new and different and cool.

This year, I fell in love with these journals which are made of old books that libraries decide to throw out. Doug of Recover Your Thoughts takes these dumpster bound books, removes the front and back covers and reuses them, adding a slab of recycled paper in-between to create nifty journals. In his words, what a novel idea.

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The hardest part about buying one of these "Recover Your Thoughts" journals is picking the cover you like best and I think I pretty much went through every journal in his booth before coming across the perfect one for me: Churchill’s The Crisis. Could there be a more appropriate title for my journal? I think not.

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Doug told me he hasn’t quite got the whole buying-online-thing down yet (and I immediately pointed him toward etsy), but if you’re interested in Recovering Your Thoughts in one of these journals, you can email him at info(at)recoveryourthoughts(dot)com. Journals are $12 each.

Steals & Deals – Edition 4

How about these melons? Huh?

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In an economy of sky-rocketing grocery prices, I thought I’d let you in on this little secret: 99 Cent Store. These succulent cantaloupes? Yep! 99 cents each. And honest to god, they are a-ma-zing.

Also amazing? Loaves of bread for 99 cents each. I’m no cheap ass, but I’m not a brand whore either and I’m telling you, 99 cents for a loaf of What’s-Its-Butt Wheat versus the hoity-toity brand name wheat bread for $4 at your local grocery store? Mama ain’t that proud.

What’s your current big deal steal?

Steals & Deals – Edition 3

Removing the link… a number of people have said this company… yeah, not so great… in their experience. Well this surely blew up in my face.

If you like make-up, wear make-up or know of someone who might have heard of make-up before then pay close attention: I know of a website where you can get high quality (and I’m talking featured-in-major-magazines-quality) mineral-based make-up for $1.

Oh yes, you heard read me correctly. ONE DOLLAH.

The challenge is to shop while simultaneously showing restraint. I don’t think it’s humanly possible.

For those of you who do submit to the evils of this little internet shopping gone wild adventure, I want to know. So I don’t feel so… alone. That’s right, I’m talking to YOU – who not only has her credit card number memorized, but the 3-digit security number on the back also.

[UPDATE: While I'm at it, I'm going to wire $50 to a Nigerian bank and wait for my $5,000 return. ALLEGEDLY, this ONE DOLLAH special isn't a special, the make-up is always this price. Someone emailed me and was like, HEY DUMBASS, IT'S ALWAYS ONE DOLLAR. Ohhhhhhh. Well, whatever. As long as it doesn't make my skin burn or fall off, $1 is still a steal and a deal.]

Steals & Deals – Edition 2

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I don’t normally buy shoes from Old Navy, but when I saw these bad boys, I wanted them. And then I realized that at that same time, they were doing their "Stuff and Save" promotion that gives you an additional 20 percent off and free shipping. Well then. I stand by my decision. It was a no-brainer, really.

However, because I have no life, the shiny vinyl black wedges are still sittin’ pretty in my closet, without having been used yet, the little elastic band still connecting the left and the right. But I still covet them and therefore Windex them every day. [OK, so now you know I'm lying. I don't own Windex.]

But the giraffe ballet flats*? LOVE them. I’ve worn them several times already and I just can’t stop looking at my feet when they’re immersed in the sexiness that is this shoe. And at the current bargain price of $9.49, you just can’t say no. At least I couldn’t. Obviously.

I’ve only found one slight problem with this purchase. They’re stylish, lightweight and comfortable – but maybe too comfortable. Because when I went searching for them yesterday, I discovered I wasn’t the only one enjoying the giraffe print…

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It’s like every mama’s fantasy to see her little boy… in her? shoes?

Oh lord.

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*Giraffe print may or may not still be available… However there are a ton of other prints. All of them cute and necessary!

Steals & Deals – Edition 1

I’m starting a little something-something new… Every once in a while I come across a good deal or a complete steal and I feel like telling the WHOLE WORLD about it. That’s where the "Steals & Deals" comes into play. If you have any great deals or steals you’ve come across, send your ideas my way.

For this first edition, I present to you these vintage-looking notebooks:

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Now here’s the thing. I love paper. I love books. I love notebooks. In a something-you-never-cared-to-know-about-me sort of way, I absolutely love the smell of paper – its thickness and texture – and I just want to inhale it’s amazingness and feel its weight in my fingertips.

OK… And I’m… BACK.

Anyway. These notebooks? Just another reason to love Target: The dollar section.

I bought one of these bad boys for – get this – $2.50 in the dollar section (go figure) of Target a week or two ago. But then, because I’m a natural hoarder, I went back and got two more, not having a single freaking clue what to do with them, but just knowing I coveted them so much that I should definitely have three.

Then I realized, hey! three! I’ve got three boys! So I wrote their names on the notebooks, dedicating one to each kid. I’ve decided to fill them with the funny things my guys say on a regular basis. Recording quotes as well as the time and place where they’ve said them. There have been so many times I’ve just about died laughing at something my kids have said…

Example (in E-man’s notebook):

HCLJPLP, Age 5 – When the teacher asked what his middle initial – "R" – stood for in his name, E-man replied (dead serious) "Race Car."

Now my kids will have these books to look back on and laugh at when they’ve got kids of their own. [I know! This almost makes me look sorta put together as a mom. SEE! Clearly the notebooks perform small miracles too! At $2.50 each!!!]

Or, I can use them as blackmail to steer away potential girlfriends. Whichever.