Pimpin’ ain’t easy… for a 5 year old

Posted on February 11, 2012 by admin

The five year old is having girl problems at school. As in, too many “grills” are chasing him around at recess. “They won’t weave me awone.”

Shoot me now.

At first, as a parent, you selfishly smile as though this – this Kindergarten dilemma as told by a five year old – means something big and telling, like your kid who you always knew was handsome as hell MUST REALLY BE – like, in the eyes of others.

Fine, in the eyes of other five year olds.

Big T wasn’t convinced we were receptive to his angsty problem so he got on my level by dropping a Jay-Z lyric to relate. You know the one. Let’s just say if he finds one more of these little problems to chase him around at lunch, I won’t need to provide 100 of something on the hundredth day celebration at school.

Apparently the problem is real though. A little girl has allegedly gone all Axe-commercial on my son, pushing him up against a wall. (Damn, girl. What’s high school gonna be like for you?) Parents and teachers have gotten involved and I am like HOLY FUCKING KINDERGARTEN, this is ridiculous, but yes, he is cute, isn’t he?

Last night, Big T broke it down, explaining why his problem is all because of us, his parents. “It’s because you make me shower every night and I just. smell. so. good.”

Huh.

So the moral of the story is mommas don’t bathe your sons? Or have I simply learned that my son is the second coming of the Old Spice Man? [I'm on the slide. Now I'm on the monkey bars. WITHOUT USING MY HANDS!] I’d like to think the latter.

No matter, let’s be honest: the important thing is that Big T has learned early on that pimpin’ ain’t easy. Now to teach him how it sho’ can be fun….

HEY. Sometimes we relate better via Jay-Z lyrics. You stick with your duct-tape parenting methods and I’ll go with mine, ok?

Measuring success.

Posted on February 6, 2012 by admin

At different times in my life I have measured success in varying ways. A good grade in school, seeing my writing published, a win on eBay, getting married, getting divorced, the fire department arriving in time, having healthy children, an interview gone well, buying a home, finding the perfect gift for someone, hearing the word “benign,” not throwing up when I was thisclose, finding the little black dress…

I told you it has varied.

I have made lists to add up my successes and lists to cross them off. I’ve celebrated them quietly and sometimes alone and also loudly and pompously with friends. I have prematurely claimed success when it wasn’t success at all and I have completely failed to note successes when they have sat right here beside me; their legs intertwined with mine.

Lately, with even more change on the horizon, I’m trying to re-examine what success means for me. I am reminding myself to find success in smaller moments too; to allow myself that sense of accomplishment in the finer chunks of time that, in hindsight, carry just as much importance.

If not more.

A little over a week ago, success was in the face of my nine year old son who saw his Pac-Man cake for the first time. This past week, it was managing to take care of very sick boys while being sick myself. Saturday night, it was having the boys sit on the couch and over-analyze the UFC fights with me. Today, it won’t only be in starting a new job, but in letting go of the guilt that goes with it.

There is so much change. And for someone who struggles with the very idea of change, I will count each and every one of my accomplishments – huge and ridiculously small – giving myself credit for every moment I acknowledge and embrace as I face each new thing that comes our way.

This, I hope, is success.

FRIENDS photo-a-day challenge

Posted on January 31, 2012 by admin

I know, I know… I just did one of these catchy little photo-a-day memes. BUT, when my friend and fellow Friends addict Miss suggested we make a Friends photo challenge I couldn’t resist. The possibilities were endless and it was like, can open, worms EVERYWHERE.*

*A Friends addict will totally get that reference.

But, even if you’re not a Friends fanatic and don’t have every line of every episode memorized, that’s OK [But why? Why-why-why?] – anyone can participate and play.

Miss and I used various episode titles as daily themes which you can interpret any way you would like via photograph. [The highlighted words in red help give you more of a general theme for the day.] You can use whatever kind of camera you want – from a fancy DSLR to your iPhone.

Share your daily Friends Photo-A-Day Challenge photos on Twitter and Instagram using the hashtag #FRIENDSpc.

We’re beginning the Friends Photo-A-Day Challenge starting tomorrow, February 1 but you’re welcome to start at any point and go at your own pace.

Nine.

Posted on January 25, 2012 by admin

Nine years ago you changed my life completely. Nine. I choke on that word. I can’t believe how grown up you are.

Nine years ago, you gave my life an entirely new purpose, filled it with meaning that has kept me strong in weaker times and began teaching me the difference between what’s important and what can wait. I realize it’s my job to teach you, but the truth is, you’ve taught me even more. You’ve taught me about love and gratitude, about Japanese Zeroes and the solar system, about building forts, beating Mario Bros. levels and compassion.

I keep telling people that you’re really coming into your own lately. But that’s not true. You’ve always known who you are – even at a very young age. You’re stubborn, incredibly smart, logical, have a sarcastic wit about you, the gears always turning, a fantastic brother, a natural leader and a sweet, old soul who is wise beyond your years. But lately, you’ve grown more sure of yourself, gained a bit of much needed confidence and the dimples that have returned to your cheeks make me so very proud.

I am extremely proud of you.

I know. It’s not cool for me to say it. You don’t like to hear it. But it’s important that I tell you anyway.

And E, I know this has been a rough year or so. You have been so strong and helpful and honest. I love that. I owe you the same. So just know that while I can’t always get you everything you want, I promise to give you everything you need.

I love you E-man. Happy, happy birthday.

Love,
Mom

______________________
*Song: The White Buffalo’s “The Pilot”

30 day photography challenge {photos – week two}

Posted on January 2, 2012 by admin

I’ve joined a bunch of others – bloggers/Twitterers/Internety people – in a 30 day photography challenge. Some are using DSLRs, some point-and-shoot cameras… Me? I’m doing all my photos via iPhone for fun.

Here are my photos from week two. You can see everyone’s photos here. Or follow the hashtag #TDPC on Twitter or Instagram.

day eight – a bad habit:

day nine – with someone you love:

day ten – a childhood memory:

day eleven – something blue:

day twelve – sunset {the last sunset of 2011, fittingly enough}

day thirteen – with thirteen things:

day fourteen – eyes:

Upcoming week’s themes: silhouette, long exposure, technology, your shoes, something orange, bokeh, faceless self-portrait…

2012: Facing the front

Posted on December 29, 2011 by admin

photo credit

I don’t particularly care to look back on this past year and recollect or reminisce about the good and the bad. In brief, I had hoped for better and I’m grateful it wasn’t worse. And while the weather, in general, was great — it was a hell of a storm.

I don’t know if I’m just that hopeful about 2012 or if it’s that I just need to have hope in 2012, but thank god 2011 is over and the feeling of starting anew is here – even if it is more symbolic than tangible.

Normally I’m not one to set concrete resolutions but I’ll admit to having a few for this coming year. Nothing too lofty; just a few items I would love to check off for me.

_ learn to skateboard with my boys
_ go back to Manhattan
_ learn Russian fluently
_ visit Savannah again
_ learn to play the guitar
_ land a great job
_ learn to dance in the rain

I know. The last one is incredibly cheesy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read the quote: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” and thought “yeah, yeah, yeah” while rolling my eyes, heavy with cynicism and ill with cliche.

Then, after coming across it for the eleventy billionth time the other day, after having a hard day of trying – and failing miserably – to suck it up, it sunk in. The words actually meant something. The quote finally and suddenly resonated and I realized how much it pertained to me right now, in this very moment in my life.

This – right now – is my storm. But I’m no longer bunkering down or looking for a place to hide from the ominous clouds. I refuse to stay inside where it’s easy and safe any longer. Instead, I’m going to face the front. I’m going to seek out the puddles and splash though them. I’m going to get my feet wet, let my mascara run and learn to love to dance in the rain.

And play guitar. And learn Russian fluently. And a number of other things.

And I’m ready.

30 day photography challenge {photos – week one}

Posted on December 26, 2011 by admin

I’m joining a bunch of others – bloggers/Twitterers/Internety people – in a 30 day photography challenge. Some are using DSLRs, some point-and-shoot cameras… Me? I’m doing all my photos via iPhone for fun.

Here are my photos from week one. You can see everyone’s photos here. Or follow the hashtag #TDPC on Twitter or Instagram.

day one – self-portrait:

day two – what you wore today:

day three – clouds:

day four – something green:

day five – from a high angle:

day six – from a low angle:

day seven – fruit:

Upcoming week’s themes: a bad habit, someone you love, childhood memory, something blue, sunset, yourself with 13 things, eyes.

Happy Holidays…ish

Posted on December 23, 2011 by admin

I just couldn’t decide between the MERRY! JOY! FA-LA-LA-LA-LAH! EVERYTHING IS BLISS! type holiday card or one that was… well, us.

Just like I always tell my boys, honesty is the best policy.

Wishing you and your families happiness, health & most of all: patience this holiday season.

Love,
Megan & the dudes

30 day photography challenge

Posted on December 19, 2011 by admin

I’ve seen this on Pinterest and thought it was a fun idea but kinda pushed it off because oh my god, when am I not neck-deep in photos? But then I saw Monique of Razing Mayhem tweeting about it and, well, it’s just more fun to do something like this when others are doing it too. So, here I am jumping aboard the 30 day photography challenge too.

If you want to do it, you can link up here. Day 1 starts tomorrow (Dec 20) and you post your photos the following day (giving everyone time to upload, edit, what-have-you). I will probably post my photos for the week at the end of each week rather than daily – just because it’s easier. Monique also put together a Flickr pool just for this so everyone can share their photos there too. Be sure to join it if you’re participating!

You don’t have to be a professional photographer to play along or even own a fancy camera. In fact, I plan on attempting the daily challenges using only my iPhone just to see what happens.

The Twitter/Instagram hashtag is #TDPC if you’re sharing photos or following along there.

Can’t wait to see everyone’s photographs!

Two places to call home

Posted on December 16, 2011 by admin

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” — Larry Wilde

I’ll be honest. I kind of fretted over this Charlie Brown-sized Christmas tree. I fret over a lot of things these days – some warranted, but most things not so much. In all honestly, this little three-and-a-half-foot tree was what the boys wanted. It’s what they picked out. They were proud that they could pick it up themselves. (“See?! I can lift it!” Followed immediately by demonstrating their ability to throw it too.)

Well, okay. If that’s what they really wanted.

Truthfully, it would be easier for me too. It would fit better in the apartment, it would be easier to keep from falling and it would be easier to haul out to the trash the day after. So we bought it. They decorated it in two minutes flat. One box of lights was enough to light it up. And, embarrassingly, it wouldn’t take eight thousand gifts beneath it to make it look like the Christmases they are used to. “You know, when you guys weren’t divorced and everything was still normal” as they often reference.

It stings.

For the first time since the separation my youngest screamed and cried to go to his dad’s house instead of stay with me. Arms straight out, crying for his dad not to leave him, me trying to put him back in his bed and not be completely broken right then, right there in front of him, so incredibly hurt as his father reassured him that he would get to come ‘home’ in two days.

But this is his home too, I thought. This apartment, a fucking nice apartment at that, is his home too. They have beds and books and toys and clothes and everything they need here. They live here too.

After finally getting him settled down and asleep I padded back out to the living room, feeling completely shattered, only to see that little Christmas tree still cheerfully lit. I wanted to throw it away. Just pick it up and throw it as far as I could. I shook my head, the lights blurring. Was it just an apartment-sized Christmas tree and not a home-sized one? Is that why the boys wanted a little one? Because they would have a ‘real’ one at ‘home?’ I yanked the plug from the wall and the lights went dim.

A day or two later I came across a quote I’d seen years ago about not worrying about the size of your Christmas tree because in the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. I looked back at the photos I took of them choosing their tree. They were so proud to pick out that tree; it was all theirs to decorate and do as they pleased with it. And I realized that this apartment is no different. It might not be where they started out their childhood, but it’s where they’re also growing up and it is their home. It’s theirs to live in and play in. They got to help pick it out and decorate it and make it their own too. And it’s just going to take a little while for them to see how lucky they are to have two places to call home.

Undomestic Diva

Doin' the best I can… When I feel like it

Author Archives: admin

FRIENDS photo-a-day challenge

30 day photography challenge {photos – week two}

30 day photography challenge {photos – week one}

Happy Holidays…ish

30 day photography challenge