While social media blogs might tout the techy reasons to be hip on Twitter, I have concocted a purely obnoxious list of why I love Twitter so goddamn much that it practically reads like Shakespeare. (Except with less of that loveth talking liketh this shit.)
1. I just tweeted "Twitter, inspire me" and six (6!) people immediately replied with either emoticons in the shape of boobs, photos of boobs themselves or some pretty serious cleavage shots. Would another mother do that for you "in real life" in the school parking lot in an effort to 'inspire' you? I think not.
2. It's better than Google when you need to know how people feel about certain things. For instance, when trying to figure out what washer/dryer set to buy I immediately tweeted asking for opinions. Google would have given me random reviews that people may/may not have been paid to write. My Twitter peeps told me first-hand what they have and why they love or hate it.
3. It's safer than WebMD. In a sense. If you're prone to go onto WebMD and type in your symptoms as "fatigue" and "dizziness" and immediately update your will because OHMIGAWD I'M GOING TO DIE OF BRAIN CANCER I JUST KNOW IT! races through your head when "possible illnesses" list yes, brain cancer along with relatively benign possibilities like PMS or the flu, then Twitter is sooo much safer for you too.
4. It's where you go to find people who 'get' you. Where else can I openly admit to disliking the Eagles, John Mayer and talk shit about the elementary school principal and have dozens of people reply with "Amen, sister!"
5. You only have to listen 140 characters at a time. Except for those assholes who like to just continue their speech over multiple tweets (Twitter Foul!), you get a brief synopsis, a one-liner, a quick little zinger and then you move on to the next person's 2 cents. It's perfect for those of us with ADD.
6. It's a community. And not like the one you live in where neighbors ignore each other, moms give each other the once up and down and where everyone is out for their own best interest. True, Twitter has its bullies and moments of cat-fighting and bickering but when a fellow Twitterer or blogger truly needs something, man, I've never seen anything like this community where people step up and renew your faith in humanity.
7. It's where you go to vent. So your extended family reads your blog but has no idea what Twitter is. Perfect. Or your boss is a total dickhead and you've protected your tweets. Awesome. Or you're just have one of those days and need to scream and yell and cry and almost instantly you've got virtual hugs (and cleavage) flooding your twitter stream from friends and total strangers alike.
8. Oh, the compliments. When is the last time you got your hair did real nice and everyone you came across made some sort of nice comment or complimented you on how it looked? Most people didn't notice did they? Or they said something backhanded like, "Oh, it's very red!" Post a new avatar picture on your Twitter profile and BAM! everyone has something kind to say. Whether they mean it or not.
9. You can Twitter bra-less, pantless, totally nude or even (gasp!) without make-up on and a snot rag stuffed up your left nostril AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW. Except, this is Twitter, so really let's be honest: you've probably already described what you look like (and maybe even Twitpic'd it) even if it wasn't in your best interest to do so.